The Catholic Battle of the Beards

The Catholic Battle of the Beards


We all know that outward appearances have no bearing on our salvation, but if that’s the case, then why are so many of the greatest bearded Saints depicted with all of their below-the-nostril awesomeness?

Before you answer that question, go here and see how it can quickly escalate into a roundabout, meaningless conversation and when you’re done, go here and have yourself a good, Irish giggle.

Now that you’ve cleansed your bushy pallets, let’s have a go at modernity. Here at we are initiating the first ever Catholic Battle of the Beards in which you, the public will vote on who we will crown as the best hair of the heavenward, the the finest fuzz in the flock, the champion of chops.

I call most of the men on the following list highly influential in the Catholic world due to three specific reasons:

  1. their influence
  2. their intelligence
  3. their epic facial hair

For the sake of today’s competition, the first two reasons will be stricken from the record as voters are asked only to judge on follicles alone, not faith.

Before we get to the voting (located at the bottom of this post), let’s meet the contestants:

Dr. Scott Hahn


Who even back in the day had a stellar grow.



Mark Shea


Very versatile. Very kempt.



Father Mitch Pacwa


Finely groomed and well rounded.


Jimmy Akin


The reason we all want to watch Catholic Answers Live instead of listen to it on the radio.



Sean Cardinal O’Malley


As if doused by a polar vortex of awesomeness.


Father Benedict Groeschel


Retired, but the beard will remain in our EWTN memories forever, just like Father Benedict.


Now, please vote below. One vote per user. All violators must repent at their next confession. Voting will end on January 31st and the winner will be announced shortly after. In the meantime, follow Catholic Snacks on Facebook, Twitter or sign up to get your snacks delivered to your e-mail by heading to the bottom of the site.

May the best beard win! Moreover, may we all continue to imitate the Master in faith (and beard if you so desire).

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